I See Dying People ..

Life isn't something last eternally, but to make our life mean eternal.

People life, people die .. no one knows when the time come.

Since mid-october I'd live in hospital, I'm not the patient, i stay there just to accompanied my father to look after my grandma. So .. the patient is my grandma, who has been staying in the ICU for more than 1 month.
As long as I live there, I saw a lot of people dying. Fighting for their life, fight which decided by how big is your will to live, and also
HOW MUCH MONEY do you have.
I'm lucky coz God give our family abbility to pay such amount of money. But in fact a lot of other people can't pay the bill, even there is one person whose parent died and left his family the medical bill. They had to pay the bill, so they lend the money and also sell their house, but still their money is not enough to get the dead body out of the hospital. So they left the hospital with some debt, and their father's body.

O yeahh .. by the way since the first time I live in the hospital till now, I've saw 10 people dying and they were all die now. and one of them is dying in front of my eyes. I dunno when is my grandma time .. I hope it will not be too soon.
Actually I dunno what to say about EUTHANASIA (a request by the patient/the patient family to let the patient die).
I don't agree with that, but sometime when I see at my grandma right now, I see her tear, I feel that she had a great pain, but I dunno what she's thinking about all of this time to keep her alive till today. I can't help myself to look at her like that, that's why the "other side of myself" said to me .. maybe it's ok to tell my grandma to DIE .. I just want to let her left the world in easier way. But that's not right .. that's why today I'm still living in hospital .. just looking at dying people die in front of my eyes. Hear the scream of pain. See the tear of sadness ..

God's will never be avoided .. when there is start there will be the finish line. The winner is not the one who came first to the finish line, but who make the journey such a meaningfull life.